Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to express interest in not having to sell my soul (aka my vintage white pantsuit) to Buffalo Exchange in order to pay my Verizon bill. Please employ me so I can do mindless work for little pay and not have to eat salad mix for dinner every night. As you can see, I have many skills to offer under your employment:

SKILLS
- movie watching
- music listening
- sleeping
- eating bagels
- painting my nails assorted neon colors

Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

PS I also know the following keyboard commands: "apple + V", "apple + C", "apple + shift + 4"

Regards,
Jennifer K. Giese

(guiltily writing cover letters at 3 am)

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